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The next part of the story covers one of the darkest stretches of my life. This is the point where things get A LOT harder before they get better. Please take care of yourself while you watch them, and also know this: I did get out! Even when my escape plan got completely derailed, I still made it. And if you’re in it… so can you 🫶 Follow along as I share, step by step, in real time, what it took to leave my abusive marriage. #thatwasabuse #escapeplan #survivorstories #domesticviolenceawareness
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Step 20: Perform and PANIC Abusers are unpredictable on purpose; their sudden mood shifts, the surprise arrivals, the “sweet” gestures that feel threatening. ALL of it keeps you in survival mode. One of the most terrifying parts of escaping abuse is that you can plan everything perfectly, and STILL have to deal with their curveballs. I was planning to pick up my ex from the airport at 7pm. Instead, he walked into my office hours early, smiling but with a look that said: I wanted to see what you’
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Sometimes what I share lands in my head fully formed, with this very clear, very strong feeling of “someone needs to see this RIGHT NOW!” The first ‘That Was Abuse’ felt like that. Escape Plan feels like that. And today, this story felt like that. If you’re the one who needed to see it today, know that at least one person out here understands. And you are definitely not alone.
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One of the least talked about parts of abuse is this: it doesn’t just hurt YOU. It slowly takes away your ability to show up for the people you love. Even in emergencies. Over time, you stop making decisions based on what’s right, and make them based on what’s allowed. That kind of control leaves scars that last a long time. I was so used to doing what he said that it didn’t even occur to me to stay after he said no. But HE didn’t know that the fight in me was starting to get stronger. Follow to
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